that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I FOUND THE LEGS
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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