take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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