if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
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