you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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