Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
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