you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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