im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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