People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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