It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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