I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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