Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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