i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
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I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
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shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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