I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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