How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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