Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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