Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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