i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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