what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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