She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shitshow foam night was such a success
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize