I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize