Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.

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  (405): Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great. http://tfl.nu/oipw
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  god, a vagina is an amazing trump card

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  (775): god, a vagina is an amazing trump card http://tfl.nu/iuci
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cherish every text you send me

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  (410): I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland (412): I cherish every text you send me http://tfl.nu/05mc
  Replies (49) Good night (6001) Bad night (604)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna

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  (780): We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna http://tfl.nu/yjmv
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  (831): View more from California

  It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics

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  (831): It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics http://tfl.nu/i199
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.

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  (609): My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count. http://tfl.nu/d5s2
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.

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  (778): We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay. http://tfl.nu/xs17
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know

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  (732): There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know http://tfl.nu/hfe3
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat

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  (902): The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat http://tfl.nu/pk4p
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  (727): View more from Florida

  And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity

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  (727): And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity http://tfl.nu/9e9v
  Replies (9) Good night (2194) Bad night (680) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.

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  (517): Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet. http://tfl.nu/zmql
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake

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  (630): Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake http://tfl.nu/dh07
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  (917): View more from New York City

  The cops raided her house the day before class even started

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  Those assholes are becoming so efficient

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  (917): The cops raided her house the day before class even started (1-917): Those assholes are becoming so efficient http://tfl.nu/vbsh
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  (212): View more from New York

  you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window

  (212): View more from New York

  i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there

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  (212): you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window (212): i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there http://tfl.nu/q2cr
  Replies (3) Good night (848) Bad night (295)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?

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  (732): You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean? http://tfl.nu/m097
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