Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize