Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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