There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize