Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
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What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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