She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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