you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize