I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Randomize