is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
His nipple licking is glorious
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