i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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