you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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