when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm bleeding and have questions
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize