I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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