I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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