I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
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