Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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