You really coming over, don't trick.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize