Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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