Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize