Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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