chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
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Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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