Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
why didn't you poke me back
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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