There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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