I accidentally burped into my bong.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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