I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize