dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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