I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize