my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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