Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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