dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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