I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize